This day in music history.

July 31, 1970, The Rolling Stones have to deliver one more song to fulfill their contract with the much hated Decca Records. They hand over the song, 'Cocksucker Blues', presented as a single. Decca refuses to release it on the grounds that it is obscene. The Stones laugh it off as they are now free to form Rolling Stones Records. The Stones first release on their new label would be the 'Sticky Fingers' LP. The album would go to number one on the charts and would sell 6 million copies.
Cocksucker Blues by Jagger/Richards
Well, I'm a lonesome school boy and I just came into town
Yeah, I'm a lonesome school boy and I just came into town
Well, I heard so much about London I decided to check it out
Well, I wait in Leicester Square with a come-hither look in my eye
Yeah, I'm leaning on Nelsons Column but all I do is talk to the lime
Oh where can I get my cock sucked? Where can I get my ass fucked?
I may have no money, but I know where to put it every time
Well, I asked a young policeman if he'd only lock me up for the night
Well, I've had pigs in the farm yard, some of them, some of them, they're alright
Well, he fucked me with his truncheon and his helmet was way too tight
Oh where can I get my cock sucked? Where can I get my arse fucked?
I ain't got no money, but I know where to put it every time
I'm a lonesome schoolboy

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bonus doodle

doodle 48

R.W.

This day in music history.

July 30, 1991, On its way to a Guns and Roses concert the limousine that Axl Rose is riding in is pulled over for making an illegal turn. Even though Rose is screaming and crying in the back seat the cop gives the driver a ticket. Rose gets so upset he threatens to cancel the concert. The police officer was forced to tear up the ticket when his superiors become concerned there would be a riot if Guns and Roses cancel. Axl gives the cop a salute as they drive away.
Satan laughing spreads his wings...

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This day in music history.

July 29, 1974, Mama Cass Elliot ( member of the Mama's & Papa's) dies in London. A postmortem the following day shows she died as a result of choking on a sandwich and from inhaling her own vomit. It's later revealed that she suffered a heart attack. She was 32. Her last words were "Goddamn it! They forgot the fucking Mayo again!"

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This day in music history.

July 28, 1929, Paul Galvin, the head of Galvin Manufacturing Corporation, invented the first car radio. The first car radios were not available from carmakers. Consumers had to purchase the radios separately. Galvin coined the name "Motorola" for the company's new products combining the words motion and radio. In the early thirties when car radios began to gain in popularity they came under fire for being a distraction to drivers and were blamed for causing accidents.
DLAK note, The more things change the more they stay the same.

This day in music history.

July 27, 1958, The Esso gas company, after extensive research reports that listening to "rhythmic" music while driving can cause the driver to unconsciously push down harder on the gas causing a possible safety hazard as well as waisting gas. It is recommended that people not listen to "Rock and Roll" music in their car. When told of the study Marc Bolan says "Those guys don't know shit".

doodle 38

This day in music history.

July 26, 1990, Grateful Dead keyboardist Brent Mydland dies of a drug overdose in Lafayette, Calif., at age 38. Mydland had replaced keyboardist Keith Godchaux - who died in 1979 (from spontaneous human combustion) - Godchaux had replaced Ron 'Pigpen' McKiernan - who died in 1973 (from choking on Grace Slick's vomit).

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This day in music history.

July 25, 1965, With the Paul Butterfield Blues Band as his back up band, Bob Dylan unveils his new electric music in public for the first time. Performing at the Newport folk Festival he walks out on stage wearing leather and carrying an electric guitar. After three songs. ('Like a Rolling Stone', 'Maggies Farm', and 'It Takes A Lot To Laugh It Takes a Train To Cry') the audience was heckling and booing so loudly the band was forced to leave the stage. After a short break Dylan is convinced to go back out with his acoustic guitar, Bob returned to the stage alone with the audience screaming for "Tambourine Man," Dylan said: "OK, I'll do that one for you." The older song had a calming effect on the agitated audience and won strong applause. Then Dylan did "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue", singing goodbye to Newport. Dylan would not play at the festival again for 37 years.
Pete Seeger later referred to Dylan as Judas, when Dylan was asked about choosing the folk festival to unveil electric music he said "I did a very crazy thing, but it was honest. It was honest."
From "Its All Over Now, Baby Blue" by Bob Dylan
Leave your stepping stones behind, something calls for you
Forget the dead you've left, they will not follow you
The vagabond who's rapping at your door
Is standing in the clothes that you once wore
Strike another match, go start a new
And it's all over now, Baby Blue.

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This day in music history.

July 24, 1978, The movie "Sargent Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band" opened in New York. The movie starred Peter Frampton and The Bee Gees. It is directed by Michael Schultz and written by Henry Edwards, it is a flop at the box-office and panned by almost all critics. The movie is responsible for some of the worst Beatles covers in history, including ...
'Maxwell's Silver Hammer' sung by Steve Martin, 'Mean Mr Mustard' with Frankie Howard, 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band' sung by The Bee Gees and Paul Nicholas and who could forget George Burns singing Fixing a hole.

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This day in virtual obscurity.

The meaning of life.
I have given this much thought over the years and I have come to many possible conclusions. What is the point? Are we here to love?... Procreate and be good parents?... Maybe its to pray or gain knownledge, to fight against evil or to help your fellow man, to make art or to make war or to make love.
After examining all the possibilities I believe that the purpose of our existence is to consume.
It is the thing we do more of then anything else. Even before we are born and after our death we consume. We consume more then we have sex, some people consume even while they are having sex. We consume for entertainment, we consume when we are sleeping and just sitting there reading this, you are paying several corporations for the privilege .
The shopping mall is our temple and the sales girl our priest. We consume God in the form of bad movies, plastic statues and collectible plates.
From the moment of our conception to the time we turn back to the earth we consume and in the end it seams the human race might just consume itself.
They just had a commercial on the radio it seams the mall is having a big sale, be right back....

This day in music history.

July 23, 1950, "The Gene Autry Show" premiered on CBS-TV. Armed with gun, guitar and his horse Champion, Gene battled the nasty blackhats with his trusty sidekicks Pat Buttram, Fuzzy Knight, Alan Hale, Jr. and Chill Wills.
At age 16, he went to work as a baggage hauler at the telegraph office in Achille, Oklahoma. One day while on break Gene was strumming and singing when Will Rogers came in to wire his daily syndicated newspaper column. The humorist was impressed by the young Autry and encouraged him to go into show business.
In 1932 Gene Autry and Jimmy Long (a friend from railroad days) recorded "That Silver-Haired Daddy of Mine," this would be Genes first gold record. (actually this was the first record ever certified gold) Gene became one of the countries biggest radio stars he was known as 'Oklahoma's Yodeling Cowboy'.
Soon Gene would get a part in the Ken Maynard movie, 'In Old Santa Fe'. By 1940 Gene Autry was one of the four most popular movie stars in America. In 1950 he became the first major movie star to have a television show. The show ran for 5 years, he produced and starred in 91 half-hour episodes. This success lead him to produce such popular TV series as Annie Oakley, The Range Rider, Buffalo Bill Jr., The Adventures Of Champion as well as the first 39 episodes of Death Valley Days.
He made 93 feature films and 635 recordings (which sold over 100 million copies), Autry is the only entertainer to have five stars on Hollywoods Walk of Fame (one for each facet of his career).
He would have a town named after him (Gene Autry, Oklahoma) and would receive at least one of every kind of prestigious award given, including Honorary Inspector General and was given the prestigious award of the Grand Cross of the Court of Honor. (He was a 33rd Degree Mason)
Gene Autry died at his home in Studio City, California on October 2, 1998. He was 91 years old.

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This day in music history.

July 22, 1971, The Doors 'LA Woman' album goes gold. It is exactly thirteen days after Jim Morrison was found dead in a French bathtub. (When Iggy Pop is told he says "I didn't know the French had bathtubs") The Doors would go on to make two albums without Jim but no one cared.

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This day in music history.

July 21, 1990, Roger Waters 'The Wall Concert' took place at the Berlin Wall in Potzdamer Platz, Berlin. Over 200.000 people attended and the event was broadcast live throughout the world. David Gilmore was not invited. He was replaced by Cyndi Lauper, Thomas Dolby and Bryan Adams.
DLAK note: Ah hah hah hah hah.

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This day in music history.

July 20, 1994, Rick James begins serving a prison sentence following his convictions for aggravated assault of two women. He was convicted for assaulting one of the young woman in his home by restraining her and burning her with a hot crack pipe. He served three years in prison for the conviction . When James was released he said...(Everyone Together Now)...I'm Rick James!, Bitch.

This day in music history.

July 19, 1982, 'Valley Girl' by Frank and Moon Unit Zappa is at number 75 on the top 100, it would reach number 23 at its peak. The song is a parody of the wealthy, spoiled kids of the San Fernando Valley. The song made popular such terms as "grody to the max", "eat shit and die", "go fuck yourself" and "fer sure fer sure". There was Valley Girl clothes, jewerly, hatchets, dildos, toilet brushes, dog food and calendars. The best thing about it for me was the thought that all these teenage girls were going out and buying the album that Valley Girl was on (Ship Arriving Late To Save A Drowning Witch), I wonder what they thought of the other songs on the album such as 'No Not Now', 'I Come From Nowhere' and 'Teenage Prostitute'.
Teen-age Prostitute by Frank Zappa
she's only seventeen
she's really sort of cute
she's working in the street
she's a teen-age prostitute
She ran away from home
Her mom was destitute
Her daddy doesn't care
She's a teen-age prostitute
"i have got a pimp He treats me like a dog..."
(all the stuff she's shooting Keeps her in a fog)
"I would really like to try and get away..."
(but if she gets caught he'll cause her some dismay)
Tiny little pants
Chain around my boot
Shakin in the dark
Im a teen-age prostitute

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This day in music history.

July 18, 20 113 BCE, A guy named Spuetanglaflem bites several holes into the side of the bone he is chewing on. He then turns it around and sucks the marrow out through the end and notices an interesting sound, the first flute was invented.

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This day in music history.

July 17, 1969, Jazz musician Charles Mingus (he was the greatest bass-player jazz has ever known) came out of a three-year, self-imposed retirement to make a concert appearance at the Village Vanguard in NY City. In 1965 Mingus had seen both his record companies fail he found himself in financial disarray and spiritually broke, he withdrew from performing. Then in 1969 he was given a Guggenheim fellowship in composition which helped him out considerably. For the next 7 years Mingus would write, record and tour the world. In 1977 Mingus was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease that confined him to a wheelchair. He died on January 5, 1979. Throughout his carrier Mingus played with most of the greats including Louis Armstrong, Lionel Hampton, Red Norvio (He quit Norvio's band when he was told he couldn't perform with the band on a television show because he was black) , Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, Bud Powell, Art Tatum, Lennie Tristano and Billy Taylor. He also had the distinction of being the only musician Duke Ellington ever personally fired. (Mingus was well known for his temper, he engaged in many confrontations with band members when he thought they were not playing up to par) After his death his 4000 measure, 2 hour composition "Epitaph" was discovered by the NEA during the cataloguing of his works. Ten years after his death, a 30-piece orchestra, conducted by Gunther Schuller, performed the piece in concert. Mingus thought the work would never be performed in his lifetime, thus its title. According to Mingus, he wrote it for his tombstone.
"Mingus was always a disaster to have around. I loved him, but he was worse than a child. He didn't know how to clean up behind himself. He could cook, but there would be eggs on the floor and the ceiling. Couldn't find his shoes when he had to go to work, didn't have a white shirt, couldn't write a check. All he could really do was play the bass and write." - Buddy Collette (at the age of 12 Buddy convinced Charles to switch from cello to bass)

bonus doodle

This day in music history.

July 16, 1981, At the age of 37, While driving his Volkswagen to a benefit concert Harry Chapin was hit by a truck in Jericho, New York. The car exploded on impact but the driver of the truck was able to pull Chapin from the burning car. Doctors tried for a half hour to save him but in the end he died from a massive heart attack.
Shooting Star by Harry Chapin
He was crazy of course From the first she must have known it But still she went on with him
And she never once had shown it And she took him off the street And she dried his tears of grieving
She listened to his visions She believed in his believe-ins
Oh, he was the sun burning bright and brittle And she was the moon shining back his light a little
He was a shooting star She was softer and more slowly He could not make things possible But, she could make them holy
He was dancing to some music No one else had ever heard He'd speak in unknown languages She would translate every word And then when the world was laughing At his castles in the sky She'd hold him in her body Till he once again could fly
Oh, he was the sun burning bright and brittle And she was the moon shining back his light a little He was a shooting star She was softer and more slowly He could not make things possible But, she could make them holy
Well, she gave him a daughter And she gave him a son She was a mother, and a wife, And a lover when the day was done
He was too far gone for giving love What he offered in its stead Was the knowledge she was the only thing That was not in his head He took off East one morning Towards the rising sun's red glow She knew he was going nowhere But of course she let him go And as she stood and watched him dwindle Much too empty to be sad He reappeared beside her saying, You're all I've ever had Oh, he was the sun burning bright and brittle And she was the moon shining back his light a little He was a shooting star She was softer and more slowly He could not make things possible But, she could make them holy Holy

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doodle 25, oops.

This day in music history.

July 15, 1958, During Senate hearings on the music industry (that had resulted from suits between the two biggest music licensing organizations, ASCAP and BMI), counsel John Schulman (American Guild of Authors and composers) plays the Coasters 'Yakety Yak' citing it as an "offender in the alleged cheapening of American Music" by "rock & roll" against which Schulman seeks legislation.
Yakety Yak by The Coasters
Take out the papers and the trash
Or you don't get no spendin' cash
If you don't scrub that kitchen floor
You ain't gonna rock and roll no more
Yakety yak (don't talk back)
Just finish cleanin' up your room
Let's see that dust fly with that broom
Get all that garbage out of sight
Or you don't go out Friday night
Yakety yak (don't talk back)
You just put on your coat and hat
And walk yourself to the laundromat
And when you finish doin' that
Bring in the dog and put out the cat
Yakety yak (don't talk back)
Don't you give me no dirty looks
Your father's hip; he knows what cooks
Just tell your hoodlum friend outside
You ain't got time to take a ride
Yakety yak (don't talk back)

This day in music history.

July 14, 1973, During a concert at Knott's Berry Farm by The Everly Brothers, the show is stopped by entertainment director Bill Hollingshead because he felt Don was having a poor performance. Phil got angry, smashed his guitar and walked off the stage. Don performed the third set alone before telling the audience that him and his brother would never play together again. They wouldn't speak to each other again for 20 years.
I'm Not Angry by Don & Phil Everly under pseudonym Jimmy Howard
I hope your radio won't play until I've had my say
I hope your mail always fails to reach you Until you wanna hear from me
I hope your wristwatch goes berserk But I'm not angry, I'm just hurt
I hope your phone will never ring & you can never sing
I hope your car doesn't start, cannot move Until you wanna be with me
I hope your brand new dress gets torn But I'm not angry, just forlorn
I'll make a voodoo dance to fit with bats & owls We'll haunt your house on rattle chains
We'll hang around until you call my name & tell me that you want me back again
I hope your records always break, your shoes make your feet ache
I hope your luck will get stuck on black cats Until you want a kiss from me
I hope your TV's always bad But I'm not angry, I'm just sad

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This day in music history.

July 13, 1985, Status Quo opened the 'Live Aid' concert held between Wembley Stadium, London and The JFK Stadium, Philadelphia. Some of the worlds biggest rock stars took part in the worldwide event. Highlights of the show included Queen opening their set with their encore show stopper "Bohemian Rhapsody," Adam Ant singing some bullshit no one remembers, George Michael singing lead vocals to Elton John's performance of ``Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me'', A completely wasted Bob Dylan broke a guitar string and a completely wasted Ron Wood took off his own guitar and gave it to Dylan, which left Wood standing on stage guitarless, Paul McCartny singing the first half of Hey Jude with his microphone turned off and the highlight of the show for me was the Led Zeppelin reunion with Phil Collins sitting in on drums, Jimmy couldn't remember the solos and Robert couldn't hit the high notes. (that's why their not on the DVD)
The concerts were held to help starving people in Africa. The shows were organized by Boomtown Rats lead singer Bob Geldof and It's estimated that the shows were either watched or listened to by an audience of one and a half billion. Live Aid eventually raised £40m. Half of the money was spent on food and half on long term development.

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This day in music history.

July 12, 1962, The Rolling Stones gave their first performance ever. It was at the Marquee Club in London. According to a handbill publicizing the concert the band members were Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Elmo Lewis, Dick Taylor, Stu and Mick Avory.
Dick Taylor would leave the Stones to form the Pretty Things, he was replaced by Bill Wyman. Mick Avory left the band and would end up joining the Kinks, he would eventually be replaced with Charlie Watts.
Stu was Ian Stewart, a gifted blues piano player. After the band met Andrew Loog Oldham (in 1963) who became the Stones' manager, Ian was not allowed to perform with the band live or be in any publicity photos because Oldham thought he was to old and not attractive enough. Ian would play on almost every Stones record until his death in 1985 but was never given credit for being an original Rolling Stone.
According to the handbill from that first show one of the guitarists was Elmo Lewis, this was actually Brian Jones.

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This day in music history.

July 11, 1969, The eventually titled 'Space Oddity' by David Bowie was released. It was originally released as David Bowie (in the UK) and Man of Words / Man of Music (in the US), before it was rereleased in 1972 under the title Space Oddity. Not only did this album have Rick Wakeman on keyboards it also contained one of DLAKs favorite Bowie songs - 'Memory Of A Free Festival'. This track is also noteworthy because both Mick (Ronno) Ronson and Woody Woodmansey played on it. Mick, Woody and Trevor Bolder would later be know as the Spiders. The album would peak on the charts at #16 in the US and #17 in the UK. The title track can still be heard 5000 times a day on FM radio.

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This day in music history.

July 10, 1967, Kenny Rogers leaves the New Christy Minstrels to form the First Edition. Within the year the band was called Kenny Rogers and The First Edition, and his distinctive voice led the group to both pop and country chart success. First Edition scored five Top 40 hits including...
-Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)" - But You Know I Love You - Ruby don't Take Your Love To Town - Reuben James - Shine On Ruby Mountain - Something's Burning.
Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)...
woke up this mornin' with the sundown shinin' in
I found my mind in a brown paper bag within
I tripped on a cloud and fell-a eight miles high
I tore my mind on a jagged sky
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in (Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my condition was in)
I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole and then I followed it in
I watched myself crawlin' out as I was a-crawlin' in
I got up so tight I couldn't unwind
I saw so much I broke my mind
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in (Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my condition was in)
Someone painted "April Fool" in big black letters on a "Dead End" sign
I had my foot on the gas as I left the road and blew out my mind
Eight miles outta Memphis and I got no spare
Eight miles straight up downtown somewhere
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
I said I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in

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This day in music history.

July 9, 1956, Dick Clark replaced Bob Horn as host of "Bandstand" on Philadelphia TV station WFIL. The name of the show was changed to "American Bandstand" when it went to ABC-TV the following year. American Bandstand was the first network television series devoted to rock and roll and the longest running musical show in television history. Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, Buddy Holly, and Chubby Checker all made their debut on American Bandstand. Clark retired from the show in 1989 and was replaced with David Hirsch.

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This day in music history.

July 8, 1967, The Monkees began a tour with The Jimi Hendrix Experience as the back up band. Hendrix was dropped after seven shows because "his act was not suitable for their teenybopper audience". Few of the Monkees fans cared to sit through an act they could neither comprehend nor appreciate. Micky Dolenz noted:
"Jimi would amble out onto the stage, fire up the amps and break into "Purple Haze" and the kids in the audience would scream "We want Davy!" God, was it embarrassing". After a few concerts Hendrix finally flipped the bird at the crowd in New York and stormed offstage.

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This day in music history.

July 7, 1990, Luciano Pavarotti, Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras performed their first concert together in Rome. The show was held on the eve of the World Cup soccer final. All the proceeds (millions of dollars) was given to charity. An album of the concert "Carerras-Domingo-Pavorotti in Concert" was a hit on the pop charts and would go on to be the best selling classical album of all time.

This day in music history.

July 6, 1971, Bandleader, singer and trumpet player Louis Armstrong died. He was unsure of the exact date so he celebrated his birthday on July 4. He usually gave the year as 1900. It has since been established his birthday was August 4, 1901. Armstrong is considered to have invented jazz singing and his influence on the development of jazz is virtually immeasurable.
"I never tried to prove nothing, just wanted to give a good show. My life has always been my music, it's always come first, but the music ain't worth nothing if you can't lay it on the public. The main thing is to live for that audience, 'cause what you're there for is to please the people, my whole life, my whole soul, my whole spirit is to blow that horn".
- Louis Armstrong-

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This day in music history.

July 5, 1975, Police in Arkansas pull over a rented Chevy after the car swerved on the road. Inside are Keith Richards and Ron Wood and two "friends". Keith Richards (the driver) is charged with reckless driving and carrying a concealed weapon. (A knife) He pays $163.50 and the foursome leave town in a chartered plane. Keith later said "Heb yor mumble doogl gruff bah humph bladdel."

This day in music history.

July 4, 1966, The Beatles perform two shows in Manila at the National Football Stadium. (100,000 fans attended) President Ferdinand Marcos pulls the Beatles' police protection after his wife claims the band snubbed her by not attending one of her parties. Later, an angry mob attacks the Band at the airport. Mal Evans (The Beatles road manager) and Brian Epstein (The Beatles manager) were ordered to leave the plane. Epstein is forced to give them £6,800 and sign a tax note that verified the exchange before the Beatles are allowed to leave.

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This day in music history.

July 3, 1999, Mark Sandman singer of band Morphine, dies from a heart attack onstage at the Diardini del Principe music festival in Palestrina, Italy. He was 47 years old. Sandman was credited with being the inventor of a sound called "low rock".
The Other Side by Morphine...
Going down to the river There's a man I wanna see
Yea he's the ferryman He'll recognize me
I'm going down now to the riverside There's a place I wanna be
I'm going to talk to the ferryman He'll be expecting me
I'm crossing over now to the other side Life is better there on the other side
The grass is greener there on the other side And I'll get even there on the other side
And everything will turn out all right On the other side
I'm crossing over now to the other side The other side
I walked by the church house late last night Yeah I walked by the church house
but I didn't go inside Cause I once slept with the preacher's wife She handed me a
ticket to the other side I'm crossing over now to the other side To the other side

doodle 14

This day in virtual obscurity.

This weekend we celebrate independence. I was at my mothers and found in a pile of stuff destined for a garage sale a small digital clock. I said "This is cool why you gonna sell it?" My mother replies "The batteries are dead, if no one buys it I'll just throw it out". Throw it out I exclaimed, this nice little clock?" "well, take it if you want it" she says. So I did.
Later that evening I went to Wal-Mart. It was actually 3:30am because I cannot bare the reality of a crowded, bustling, full metal, shopping experience. The doors glide open like a friendly smile welcoming me. A fluorescent womb waited beyond the threshold, I was drawn closer but then the doors closed on my leg shaking me from my mirage.
Shaken but not deterred, I ignored the gash on my leg and was quickly back on the trail of my digital clock batteries. Upon entering the tomb of commerce I am struck by the unimaginable amount of colorful shrink wrapped stuff. As far as the eye can see, stuff stacked upon stuff. I knew immediately I would never find the small batteries in the vastness of "it all" so I sought help from the first person I saw wearing the blue smock of shame. Excuse me sir I say, assured by this mans name tag that he is indeed a employee of the store and quite happy about it (if the smiley face button is any indication). I show him the battery and after taking it from me he stares at it, examining it like a jeweler regarding a precious stone. Finally having summed up the situation he confidently says " We will have to look at the batteries". "Yes" I say," Yes indeed" and with that he is off leaving me behind .
I do my best to keep up but he is a man on a mission and does not have time to waste. As I round a corner I am confronted with a billboard size wall of batteries. Beneath the wall of energy is the blue smock I have enlisted in my quest. He is perplexed as he thumbs through the seemingly endless types of plastic incased batteries occasionally stopping to compare the one he holds in his hand to a package from the wall. After ten long minutes he looks up and says "oh, these are watch batteries! We have to go to the jewelry department".
And so with a wink and a nod from the young man in the blue smock we are off in search of the jewelry department. I stay at his heals for fear I would never find my way alone. And suddenly before us is JEWELRY shining like a beacon among a thousand other beacons filling me with hope that our journey would soon be coming to an end. (I have now been in the store for 20 minutes)
Inside the borders of jewelry there is another wall of batteries. This one smaller then the last but no less brimming this time with teeny, tiny batteries, "Watch batteries?" I ask with a crack in my voice. "Yes" says Mr blue smock "here they are". And again he starts his search for the illusive digital clock battery. After another few minutes I am starting to have severe doubts as to whether or not Mr. Smock has a fucking clue and just as I was about to give up Mr. Smock says"Ah-ha, here they are".
I am amazed and a little embarrassed for losing faith in him. I reach out to take the plastic incased prize from his hand and he pulls it away and says "I cant sell these to you".
I am confused and my first thought was he was just kidding but I soon realize from his dead pan expression that we are not in Kansas anymore. I say nothing, slack jawed and deflated I wait for what's next. Mr. Smock has now put the batteries back on the wall and says "I'm not jewelry, only jewelry people can sell the watch batteries". After a pause to collect my thoughts I ask Mr. Smock "Where are the jewelry people?" Mr. Smock tilts his head doing his best RCA dog impression and replies "The jewelry people only work during the day and evening, Sir". "Yes", I say.
For a moment I saw myself screaming at Mr. Smock "Why the fuck have you just wasted 30 minutes of my life?!"" but instead I just smiled and walked away leaving Mr. Smock to ponder his own fate. I slowly make my way through the labyrinth into the cool summer night and the comfort of my LHS. As I write this my small digital clock sits blank and silent. I think I will throw it away.

This day in music history.

July 2, 1863, Was the second day in the Battle of Gettysburg. The Battle resulted in approximately 51,112 individuals being killed, wounded, missing or captured. One of the most popular songs in the country was When Johnny Comes Marching Home.

When Johnny Comes Marching Home...
When Johnny comes marching home again Hurrah! Hurrah!
We'll give him a hearty welcome then Hurrah! Hurrah!
The men will cheer, the boys will shout, The ladies they will all turn out, And we'll all feel gay When Johnny comes marching home.
The old church bells will peal with joy, Hurrah! Hurrah!
To welcome home our darling boy, Hurrah! Hurrah!
The village lads and lassies say With roses they will strew the way, And we'll all feel gay When Johnny comes marching home.
Get ready for the Jubilee, Hurrah! Hurrah!
We'll give the hero three times three, Hurrah! Hurrah!
The laurel wreath is ready now To place upon his loyal brow, And we'll all feel gay When Johnny comes marching home.
Let love and friendship on that day, Hurrah! Hurrah!
Their choicest treasures then display, Hurrah! Hurrah!
And let each one perform some part To fill with joy the warrior's heart, And we'll all feel gay When Johnny comes marching home.
DLAK note: May God bless our troops and bring them all home safely.

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This day in music history.

July 1, 1822, A German inventor named Christian Bauschmann made an experimental instrument he called the Aura. In 1857 Matthias Hohner figured out how to mass-produce the instrument and it became know to us as the Harmonica. It is said that Bauschmanns wife had three vaginas.

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